


Howon 1/2

by lo_anlurui



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Crack, Legal Jargon, M/M, blink-and-miss-it cameos from some of ranma 1/2's cast, cameos from reply 1997's cast, weird science
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 16:35:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4712852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lo_anlurui/pseuds/lo_anlurui
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Woohyun joins HoYa Law Corporation as Chairman Howon's PA but realizes there's more to Howon than meets the eye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Howon 1/2

"Good morning, boss," Shiwon knocked on the door, smiling brightly. 

"Morning," he said, not looking up from his papers. Shiwon noted the cup of steaming hot coffee on his table and swallowed, looking down. 

"It's been five months since we put out the advertisement for the position of your personal assistant and only one applicant has responded so far," she said quickly, putting the file on his table and standing as far away as she possibly could from him without seeming rude.

Howon looked up and she quickly faked a cough into her hand, looking away. "Only one?"

"Y-Yeah," she stammered. "Do you want to interview him?"

Howon sighed. "I guess I will." He pulled the file towards him and opened it. "Nam Woohyun?!" he said in disbelief. "What the fuck?"

"I'll call him for an interview and check your schedule! Bye!" Shiwon quickly fled his room and slammed the door shut, leaning against it and clutching at her chest, panting. She grabbed Yoojung's air freshener and held it to her nose, inhaling deeply. 

Yoojung looked up from her computer and raised an eyebrow. "Boss drank hot coffee this morning?"

Shiwon nodded pathetically. "And he swore. And he’s wearing his spectacles today."

Yoojung looked sympathetic. "Oh my god, that's the worst."

"I know!" Shiwon complained. "I nearly confessed my undying love to him. Again. I haven't felt this...fluttery feeling since that time when I met Tony oppa in person."

"That bad?" Yoojung sighed. "Don't you have to arrange that job interview for Boss? You better make sure he doesn't drink anything before the interview. Otherwise we might have to call the cops again, after that girl threw herself at him screaming something about marriage and 'take me, now'." 

"Well, this one's a guy, so maybe the effect on him won’t be as bad." Shiwon shrugged. "But Boss seems to know him."

* * *

Howon pushed his spectacles up, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "So, why do you want to work here?" he finally asked in a bored tone.

"Because I really admire you and I want to work for you?" Nam Woohyun offered him a bright, sunshiny smile. 

Howon sighed. "So, Woohyun-sshi, let's talk about your family," he changed tack, smiling politely at him. "What does your father do?"

"He's the MD of Infinite Corp," Woohyun replied uncomfortably, feeling like he was about to be ripped apart in a cross-examination.

"Oh, really? Speaking of which, does he have a law firm to handle his legal business? We could use some more business," Howon said brightly. 

"Oh...I think you guys handle all their work already..." Woohyun fidgeted. 

Howon slammed his hands down on his desk and glared at Woohyun. "Then why are you in my office asking for a job?! Don't you know it's a conflict of interest if I employ you?!"

"But I quit my job in my dad's office," Woohyun said stubbornly. 

Howon blinked. "What?"

"I quit," Woohyun repeated. "So that I could work here."

“You gave up your million-dollar job of bumming to work a proper 9 to 6 job?” Howon pressed. 

Woohyun nodded. “Uh-huh.”

"Well," Howon said, adjusting his spectacles. "We'd still need the Board of Infinite Corp to approve since you're still related by blood to him..."

"I got it." Woohyun unfolded a piece of paper and handed it to Howon. "Well, it isn't the formal agreement - they said they would do a proper resolution, but this should be enough for now, right?"

Howon took a look at the paper. Typed at the top of the paper was a simple line saying "We consent to Nam Woohyun quitting his job at Infinite Corp and becoming employed by Infinite Corp's legal counsel, HoYa Law Corporation." Below it was a bunch of signatures which belonged to the respective Directors of Infinite Corp, and...messages? "What's this?" Howon squinted at the paper. "Congrats and go jump his - "

Woohyun snatched the paper back from Howon, smiling sunnily. "It's an informal agreement! They promised to sign the resolution."

"But an informal agreement isn't binding and you didn't pay them any money for this promise," Howon said, frowning. 

"But if I paid them any money, you would say I bribed them!" Woohyun shot back at him. 

"...fair enough."

"So do I get the job now?"

"You want to be my personal assistant, when you have a business and law double degree from Harvard," Howon said. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to practice law, and I think being a businessman like my dad is boring. But I like assisting people, so I figured I'd become a personal assistant," Woohyun explained. 

Howon eyed him dubiously. 

"Oh! I have a letter from my father to pass to you." Woohyun handed over a sealed envelope. Howon took it and broke the seal.

_  
My dear Howon,_

_It is with great appreciation that I hand over the care and education of my son, Nam Woohyun, to you. He has requested that he be allowed to learn from you directly and I have agreed, since in all the years that your father and you have been serving Infinite Corp, both of you and your well-trained legal team have always delivered perfect and immediate service to us. It is my hope that you will be able to extract out whatever qualities of excellence, intelligence, and determination my useless and lazy son possesses, since he has always spoke of you with great fondness and admiration._

_Please feel free to discipline him however you wish, including corporal punishment. If you require me to sign a Deed to assign all my rights as a father to you, I will gladly do so and pay all your legal fees._

_Regards,_  
Nam Soohyun  
Managing Director  
Infinite Corp 

_P.S. Please ask your father for me if he would like to have another round of golf on Sunday. He hasn't talked to me since I beat him ten times in a row.  
_

Howon folded up the paper and sighed. "I don't even want to go into how many things were wrong about that letter." 

"So, when do I start?" Woohyun asked hopefully. 

"...on Monday. Be here at 8.30 am sharp." 

"...don't you guys open at 9.00 am?"

"Eight. Thirty. AM," Howon repeated irritably.

"Okay, okay." Woohyun held up his hands. "I'll be going, now."

"Hn." Howon eyed him as he got up. "And please wear proper office attire instead of ripped jeans."

"But don't you think they show off my legs really well?" 

"...get out, Woohyun."

"Bye!" Woohyun bounced out of the room. 

Alone in his room, Howon sighed and took off his spectacles, rubbing his eyes. "Why did he have to come torture me again?" he murmured to himself. "As if I don't have enough to deal with already..."

* * *

On Monday, Woohyun arrived promptly at 8.30 am, clad in a proper suit and tie, only to find the office locked. 

'Huh,' he thought. 'He clearly said 8.30 am. Maybe he overslept?' Debating whether or not to leave and get breakfast, he decided not to and plunked himself on the carpet to wait for Howon to arrive. 

At 8.45 am, the lift door opened and a young man rushed out, hair in a mess and dressed in a hot pink blouse and dress shorts. "Oh my god, boss's going to kill me," he moaned, stopping short when he saw Woohyun sitting comfortably outside the office in the corridor, fiddling with his phone. "Who are you?"

"I'm the new personal assistant to Lee Howon-sshi," Woohyun answered, getting up. "You are?"

"I'm Lee Sungjong, and I'm the receptionist, and I'm late for work!" Sungjong quickly entered his password on the keypad and scanned his thumbprint. "Boss is going to kill me..."

"But Boss isn't here yet," Woohyun said. "He told me to come at 8.30 am, but he hasn't arrived at all. Or else I'd be inside already."

"Oh, that's right." Sungjong frowned. "That's odd. Anyway, come inside and wait." He hurried around, switching on lights and turning on the computer before sitting down and pulling out a mirror and a brush, beginning to comb and style his hair. 

Woohyun sat down in a chair, eyeing the receptionist. "By the way," he finally said. "The company allows staff to wear shorts to work?"

"Huh?" Sungjong blinked, hairbrush poised over his perfect hair as he looked at Woohyun, before looking down at his outfit. "Oh, I'm a special case," he said cheerfully, continuing to fuss with his hair. "Boss lets me wear dress shorts ‘cause I look good in them, and it makes the female clients happy. Besides, when I stand behind the counter, nobody can tell if I'm wearing pants or shorts or nothing."

"...right." Woohyun settled down to wait, wondering if something had happened to Howon. Other staff began streaming in. A few of them casted curious glances at Woohyun but most of them ignored him. 

At 9.15 am, Sungjong's phone rang, and he picked it up. "Hello? Oh......oh. Ok, I'll inform everyone. Thanks, Hakchan-hyung." He hung up, immediately typing furiously on his computer. 

"What happened?" Woohyun asked. He could hear soft 'ping' noises as the staff all received an e-mail, presumably from Sungjong, and groans as they opened it. 

"It's cold today," Sungjong said glumly. 

"Cold?" Woohyun blinked. "But it's summer..."

The lift rang and the door opened and Sungjong stood. "Good morning, boss!" 

"Hn." Woohyun saw Howon storm into the office, face black and hair ruffled, and - was Sungjong blushing? He wasn't sure why, but Howon did look rather cute like that...

"Nam Woohyun," Howon said in a low voice (which was so cute, Woohyun thought, it was like he did it on purpose to sound more manly). "Follow me."

"Oh - yeah." Woohyun looked at Sungjong who had dropped back into his chair and was banging his forehead on his desk. "Um, ok."

Not a single person looked up from their computers as Howon and Woohyun walked through the office to Howon's personal room. Woohyun noticed most of them had air-fresheners on their tables, which was strange, since if everyone had one and they were all different scents wouldn't that make for a really smelly office? This office was really weird. 

Howon dropped his bag on his table and exhaled, looking irritated. "Where's my coffee?" he demanded, running a hand through his messy hair. "First my alarm clock doesn't work so I oversleep, then the water heater doesn't work so I have to take a cold shower, then there's a huge car accident right outside my apartment - and now I don't have coffee?" He looked up, glaring at Woohyun. "And why are you standing here looking like an idiot? Where's Shiwon?"

Logically, anyone would be quaking with fear at the murderous glare leveled at them, but all Woohyun could think was 'Howon's really adorable when he pouts like that.'. 

"Boss!" Shiwon appeared, quickly sizing up the situation. "I'll get your coffee and show Woohyun-sshi what to do." She dragged a dazed Woohyun out with her, shutting Howon's office door. 

Outside, everyone visibly relaxed. 

"What was that?" Woohyun asked, blinking as his mind cleared. "Did I just think that a raging, angry, mad Lee Howon...was cute and adorable?"

"Oh, no one can resist Boss when he's Hoaegi," Eunji answered, and then hit her forehead. "I mean! Ugh, Yoojung, lend me your air freshener." She grabbed the container and inhaled deeply. 

"Yah, you owe me a new one," the girl grumbled. 

"Hoaegi?" Woohyun repeated disbelievingly. 

Shiwon sighed. "It's a long story."

Yoojung's phone rang, and she winced. "It's boss." She pressed the speaker button. 

"Sung Shiwon, if I can hear your voice, that means you aren't getting me my coffee."

Shiwon rolled her eyes. "Yes, boss, we're about to go," she sang. "By the way, did you want your coffee iced or hot?"

"Hot, obviously." 

"Ok." Shiwon sighed. "By the way, I'm going to introduce Woohyun to the staff too, alright?"

"Whatever." Click. 

"Hoaegi and HoGod in the span of ten minutes? Talk about Monday blues," Yoojung complained. "I'm going to get a new air freshener."

It was then that Woohyun noticed that everyone's air fresheners were the same brand and scent. "I don't understand..."

"Of course you don't," Shiwon rolled her eyes. "Here, let's get to the pantry first before HoHulk rips his office apart." She tugged him off.

* * *

Five minutes later, Woohyun had been given a crash course on the type of coffee Howon liked, had found out that Shiwon was actually the head of the accounts department but Howon had co-opted her as his personal assistant until he found a new one - which was now Woohyun, and that there were boxes and boxes of pine air freshener in the pantry for anyone to take when necessary. "But why?" he asked, still confused. 

"You'll see. Here, we have to get his hot coffee to him before his ten am conference call with Infinite Corp, or he'll be really mad." Shiwon briskly walked back to Howon's office. "You bring it in."

Woohyun knocked on the door. "Howon-sshi," he said. "Your coffee."

"Come in."

Woohyun opened the door. Howon was checking his e-mail, and his murderous mood hadn't lifted one bit (but Woohyun thought he looked more grumpy than murderous and did he see heart-shaped bubbles above Howon's head??). 

Shiwon nudged him. "Oh! Coffee." Woohyun carried it over and set it down on Howon's table. 

Howon picked up the cup, blew on the coffee and took a sip. "Took you guys long enough," he grumbled. " Shiwon, where's the Infinite Corp file?" 

"W-Which file?" Woohyun wondered why Shiwon was stammering, but then, looking at Howon, he could understand why, his eyes drawn to that bit of collarbone peeking from underneath his white collared shirt and -- 

Howon raised an eyebrow (and Woohyun's heart leapt). "The property development one."

"It's - It's on your table! Isn't it?" Shiwon was flushed. 

"It is?" Howon looked at the pile of files on his table. "Oh, right, it is." He blushed. "My bad, sorry." 

Woohyun couldn't take it anymore. "Howon, has anyone told you that you're really f-" 

SLAP! Shiwon smacked a hand across Woohyun's mouth. "I'm just going to train your new personal assistant, ok?" she said quickly to Howon. "You'll have to do without us for a while. Call if you need anything. Bye!" And she dragged Woohyun out of the room, slamming the door behind her. 

She let go of Woohyun, who slumped to the ground in a daze. "Yoojung, air freshener, now." Shiwon ordered, and Yoojung tossed one to her. "Breathe," she commanded Woohyun, holding the packet to Woohyun's nose. 

Woohyun slowly took great gulps of air. "What was that all about?"

Shiwon sighed. "It's a long story. We're going to need alcohol."

* * *

"...and this is Yoon Yoonjae-sshi, who practices corporate law, and conveyancing, and family law, and..." 

"Basically, I do anything Howon tells me to do," Yoonjae interrupted her. 

"Really?" Shiwon leered. 

"That relates to law," he said firmly, rolling his eyes and dragging his fingers down her face. 

"Ugh, you're no fun." She sat down in one of the chairs. "Woohyun, sit down. Yoonjae, take out the soju."

"It's 10 in the morning, woman," Yoonjae said. "Are you crazy?"

"Woohyun's going to need it after we tell him the story," she said. 

"What story?"

Shiwon sighed. "Didn't you realize that there's something really strange about our dear acting Chairman of HoYa Law Corporation?”

Woohyun blinked. "Well, he was really cute in the morning when he first arrived..."

"Even though he was practically spitting fire and screaming bloody murder." Shiwon nodded sagely. "Go on."

"And then he got really hot and I nearly - oh my god, I nearly told him he was fucking hot," Woohyun said, horrified. "I spent two weeks convincing my dad and the Board to let me work here and I nearly blew it." 

Yoonjae raised an eyebrow. "You're Nam Soohyun's son?"

Shiwon rolled her eyes. "His name is Nam Woohyun, duh he's Nam Soohyun's son."

Yoonjae narrowed his eyes. "But that's a conflict - "

"The Board approved it, my dad should be asking Howon-sshi to draft the resolution right now," Woohyun said quickly. "Anyway, what's your explanation? What's with all of you and your strange behavior around Howon-sshi and the pine air fresheners?"

"You don't think Boss's behavior is strange?" Shiwon asked. 

Woohyun thought for a moment. "No?"

"What about your reaction to him?" Yoonjae queried. 

"Well," Woohyun said carefully, not wanting to divulge his hidden motives just yet. "I did notice that the staff were behaving oddly in reaction to him..."

"It's all because of that firm trip, and it's all because of this stupid idiot here," Shiwon said, pointing to Yoonjae. 

"It's because we didn't have enough budget to go elsewhere, and whose fault is that? Accounts, of course," Yoonjae retorted. 

"There are a hundred thousand places to go, and you had to pick that spring in China of all places!" Shiwon yelled. 

"Keep it down, or he'll hear!" Yoonjae hissed. 

Woohyun blinked. "I'm missing something?"

Yoonjae and Shiwon sighed. "We had a firm trip earlier this year," Shiwon said. "To Jusenkyo in China." 

"Jusenkyo? Isn't that a Japanese word?" Woohyun said. "What does it mean?"

"Cursed springs," Shiwon said morosely. "Which this idiot didn't bother to research before organizing our firm trip there. You would think that since he's a lawyer he'd be more careful, but noooooooo..."

"Anyway," Yoonjae interrupted her. "We went to the cursed springs for our firm trip because that was the only place our budget permitted us to go."

"You just didn't bother to do any research because you were researching porn, Yoon Yoonjae!" Shiwon accused.

"It was for a case," Yoonjae defended himself. "Anyway, we went there, and while most of the springs have been uncursed, Boss accidentally stumbled across a hidden spring, which no one had come across before. We'd been told not to bathe in any springs that hadn't been specifically identified by our tour guide as okay, but as Boss was looking at the spring, a strange red-haired girl ran over, chased by a blue-haired girl, and knocked Boss into the spring." 

"And Boss swallowed some of the spring water and surfaced coughing and spluttering, so some kind soul by the name of Yoon Yoonjae quickly got some cursed spring water and gave it to him to drink," Shiwon glared at the perpetrator. "And then Boss passed out."

"There are...cursed springs in the world?" Woohyun said carefully. 

"Uh-huh. Didn't you notice that you reacted differently to Boss depending on what he drank?" 

"...no?" Woohyun blinked.

Shiwon sighed. "God, you're dumb. In the morning, didn't you think he was really cute and adorable even though he was all pissy and irritated and angry?" 

"...um..."

"Don't pretend to be shy, everyone had the same reaction," she snapped. "It's because he had a cold shower in the morning, so he gave off cute and adorable and sparkly pheromones."

"And after he drank the hot coffee, you wanted to jump his bones, right?" Yoonjae continued. 

"But I want to jump him all the time - I mean - yeah?" Woohyun said quickly. 

"It's because the first cursed spring that he fell into was The Spring of the Drowned Manly-as-fuck Hearthrob," Yoonjae said seriously. "And it was a hot spring, and he swallowed the hot water from there." 

"And he was choking and gasping because the temperature was so hot, and this idiot here had the bright idea of giving him cold water from another - wait for it - cursed spring! The Spring of the Drowned Moe Girl," Shiwon said dramatically. "We're lucky the girl part of the curse had already worn off. And that's why when Boss eats or drinks anything hot, or takes a hot shower, he gives off I-am-hot-as-fuck vibes that make everyone want to fuck him. But when he eats or drinks anything cold or takes a cold shower, he gives off I-am-so-fucking-adorable vibes...that still make everyone want to fuck him."

"Are you sure you didn't fall into The Spring of the Drowned Gangster while we were there?" Yoonjae said wearily. "Seriously, your language..."

"So that explains why he was raging mad this morning and yet I thought he was the cutest thing on earth," Woohyun said, secretly relieved that he now had an excuse for his behaviour.

"Mhmm. Not just you, everyone felt the same way. You're not special or anything," Shiwon said brutally. 

"Is that why all of you keep air fresheners with you? Does it help?" Woohyun asked. 

"It confuses our noses enough so that we can continue working," Shiwon said. "But we keep his door closed all the time now, because if it were open, all of us would be fired for sexually inappropriate behavior." 

Woohyun winced. "Then, if it's really a curse...why don't you guys find a cure?" 

"If only it were that easy," Shiwon grumbled. "The Jusenkyo keeper chased us away back then because his daughter was being charmed by an unwitting Boss, and Boss refuses to go back there anymore because he's too busy with Infinite Corp's files." 

"So then, we just have to find ways to get used to his pheromones," Woohyun said thoughtfully. "Or manipulate them." 

"Manipulate?" Yoonjae said. 

Woohyun grinned evilly. "You said he gets hot when he drinks hot drinks, and cute when he drinks something cold, right?"

"Yeah..."

"So what happens when he drinks something hot and cold?" 

"..."

Woohyun rubbed his hands together gleefully. "I knew that chemistry minor would come in handy."

* * *

"I don't understand why we have to spend time on this experiment, Boss's going to bitch at me about my billing hours again," Yoonjae complained. 

Shiwon gave him a scathing look. "And you would rather spend the time that he's scolding you trying to hide your raging hard-on from him or attempting not to squeal at his fluffy cuteness?" she said witheringly. 

"'Stop fighting, the two of you, we're going to get caught," Woohyun said, busy writing something on the whiteboard. The three of them had locked themselves in the firm's file storage room to plan their experiment on Howon. 

They subsided, still glaring at each other. 

"Alright." Woohyun rubbed his hands together. "Here's the plan!" 

_Experiment 1: To determine the effect that immediately ingesting hot/cold food one after the other will have on the subject._

_Experiment 2: To determine if the definition of hot and cold applies to spicy food, i.e., to determine what happens if the subject ingests spicy cold food._

_Experiment 3: To determine if lukewarm food will have an effect on the subject._

"I still don't get why we have to carry out these experiments, though," Yoonjae said doubtfully. "So what if we know how Boss reacts to hot and cold food?"

"If we know, then we can control his moods and pheromones to our advantage," Woohyun pointed out. "For example, if Howon had to attend a court hearing, wouldn't it be far better for him to be HoGod instead of Hoaegi? Depending on whether the judge is a guy or girl, obviously. Or if he had to attend a networking dinner." 

"And if we can figure out how to neutralize his pheromones, we'll be able to work without pine fresheners anymore!" Shiwon said dramatically. "I'm so sick of the smell already."

"Then get Yoojung to order another scent," Yoonjae raised an eyebrow. "Duh." 

"I can't, she was busy flirting with Hakchan when she did the order and ended up ordering 10000 air fresheners instead of 1000 and the air freshener company refused to cancel the order." Shiwon rolled her eyes. "I had such a hard time resolving that in the company accounts. Thankfully Boss signed off without looking." 

"Anyway, we need a person to record their reactions to these experiments," Woohyun said. "Volunteers?"

"I volunteer...YOU." Shiwon pointed at Woohyun. 

"Me?" 

"Yeah, you're his PA now, after all, you'll be in the most contact with him and can buy his lunches and stuff," Yoonjae said. "Plus you seem pretty close to him."

"I do?" 

"You call him Howon. Besides, Boss seems to know you," Shiwon said sagely. "So that's settled!" 

"No, wait..." Woohyun looked hesitant. "My reactions..."

"What?" They both looked at him. "You suggested the experiment, you do it."

"Fine..."

* * *

_Experiment 1: Iced coffee and hot coffee_

"Good morning, Howon!" Woohyun swept into Howon's office, smiling cheerfully as he balanced a tray and a stack of files. 

"Hn." 

"Do you want your coffee first or your files first?" 

Howon adjusted his spectacles, glaring at him. Woohyun quickly looked away and surreptitiously sniffed at the mini air freshener packet he had tucked in his shirtsleeve. "Coffee." 

"Well, you're in luck!" Woohyun chirped, putting the tray on his desk. "We have a special concoction for you today!" 

"It looks like two cups of normal hot and iced coffee to me," Howon said dryly. 

"Ahh, but it isn't," Woohyun tsked, wagging a finger at him. "You have to drink the hot coffee as fast as you can, then drink the iced coffee immediately. And something special will happen!" 

"Nam Woohyun." Howon eyed him incredulously. "Do you know what just came out of your mouth?"

"Words. Come on, try it!" 

"Nam Woohyun." Howon looked disbelievingly at him. "Are you serious?"

"If you don't, I'll experiment on someone else, and if anything happens it'll be your fault, because you didn't let me try it out on you." 

"Experiment?" Howon looked weary. "Fine, whatever." He took the cup of hot coffee, sipping it as quickly as he could. 

Woohyun watched him drink the hot coffee, pretending to cough so he could hold his secret air freshener near his nose. "Now the iced coffee," he urged Howon. "Quickly!" He discreetly moved nearer to the desk so Howon couldn't see the tent in his pants - how did Howon look so goddamn fuckable just drinking coffee? It must be the way his white shirt was opened to reveal his smooth neck and collarbone and how it contrasted with his tan skin - Woohyun faked a coughing fit and inhaled harder. "Hurry up and drink!" 

Howon obediently gulped down the iced coffee and set it down. 

"Well?" Woohyun asked hopefully, moving his sleeve away. 

"You..." Howon looked very calm as he set the coffee cup down. "Your idea of something special happening...is a brain freeze?" 

'Shit, it didn't work," Woohyun backpedalled frantically. Howon was raging mad and yet he looked so adorably angry to Woohyun. "Um - Boss - Howon - you look so cute I could eat you - I MEAN - um - yeah haha hope you enjoyed your morning brain freeze, I'll be glad to provide more brain freezes if you need to wake up!" He tossed the files on Howon's table and ran. 

"NAM WOOHYUN!" 

_Result of Experiment 1: Failure. Never give Lee Howon a brain freeze._

\---

_Experiment 2: Spicy cold noodles_  
Howon leaned back in his chair and rubbed his eyes tiredly. It'd been an exhausting day, with demanding clients all wanting a piece of him. "Nam Woohyun, aren't you going home?"

"Hm?" Woohyun arranged the messy stack of files and papers on Howon's desk properly, crumpling the random love letters that had arrived from starry-eyed clients and tossing them in the trashcan. 

"It's 6 pm. Usually you run out of office on the dot." 

"Oh." Woohyun finished what he was doing and looked sheepishly at Howon. "Actually...I was wondering...would you like to join me for dinner?" 

"What?" Howon wondered if he'd misheard. "Dinner?" 

"Yeah. I know you're going to continue working, but you need to eat. You already skipped lunch, and you look exhausted." Woohyun snuck behind Howon, carefully massaging his shoulders. "You're so tense, you're going to give yourself a headache." 

Howon sighed. "Too late." His head had been throbbing ever since he spent half an hour on the phone with an old client who wanted to ramble and talk about nonsense while a difficult client sent him e-mail after e-mail demanding an answer NOW. 

"Ah, you should have said something." Woohyun dug his fingers into Howon's tensed shoulders and neck, gradually making his way up Howon's head, carefully rubbing small circles into his temples. "Your skin is stretched so tight here," he commented. "You need to relax more." 

"Try relaxing when you have a hundred and one clients demanding that you reply them now at the same time," Howon muttered bitterly. "But you wouldn't know, would you, you're just a PA." 

"But that's why I can do this for you, right?" Woohyun increased the pressure a little as he felt Howon's muscles relax. 

"I guess." Howon shut his eyes, relaxing against Woohyun's hands. 

Woohyun swallowed. He was pretty sure Howon hadn't eaten or drunk anything very hot or cold since his lunchtime coffee, so why was his heart beating so fast and his cheeks flushed? Shaking his head, he rubbed his knuckles on the top of Howon's head, earning a grunt from Howon. "So, dinner?" 

"I'm not hungry, and I still have tons of work to do." 

"If you don't eat anything, you're going to get gastric pains," Woohyun chided him gently. "Then your dad will have my head for not taking care of you properly." 

"Wasn't I supposed to take care of you, not the other way around?" Howon snorted. "Fine, dinner. But you're treating." 

"You're making your poor PA treat you?" Woohyun teased. 

"Your dad is paying me a six figure sum to pay you, what are you complaining about?" Howon retorted. 

"Come on, let's go." He stood up, shrugging Woohyun's hands from his shoulders. "I'm hungry." 

Woohyun smiled and followed him out.

* * *

"Explain concisely why you have chosen...this particular restaurant." Howon folded his arms. 

"Use simple words, counsel." Woohyun smiled cheerfully. 

"Why the fuck are we eating cold noodles when it’s fifteen degrees Celsius outside?" 

"I said simple, not foul," Woohyun said patiently, shaking his head. "If only your dad knew..."

"I don't care. So, explain." 

"Well, cold stuff will help you wake up. And it's spicy, so it should keep you warm." 

Howon stared at him, then shook his head. "Never mind. I don't want to know what you're thinking. Let's just order." 

After their food arrived, Woohyun watched with bated breath as Howon stirred his noodles and took a bite. 

"...Nam Woohyun."

"Yes?" 

"Didn't I tell you specifically that I wanted my noodles to be less spicy?"

"Um...I think so?" Woohyun pretended to look confused. “You should’ve told me in writing.” 

"So why are they _extra_ spicy?!" Howon dropped his chopsticks and took a large gulp of water, his murderous gaze still fixed on Woohyun. 

Woohyun rested his chin on his hands. "Has anyone told you that you look really cute when you're furious?" 

Howon spluttered, spitting water everywhere. "What?!" 

"I mean, I know you're angry enough to murder me for giving the wrong order, but somehow, I don't feel scared at all. In fact, I think you're really adorable." Woohyun gazed at him lovingly.

Howon rubbed his eyes. "I must be hallucinating," he muttered. "Pay for this, I'm going home." He got up, grabbing his jacket and left the restaurant. 

Once Howon had left, taking his cloud of pheromones with him, Woohyun started to repeatedly hit his head against the table. 

_Result of Experiment 2: The definition of 'hot' does not include the level of spiciness._

* * *

_Experiment 3: lukewarm porridge_  
Thanks to Woohyun's spicy cold noodles and the cold weather and lack of sleep and extreme stress, Howon predictably caught a cold. And he predictably still came to work, despite his cold. Which was complete torture for everyone as they were introduced to just how smokingly hot Lee Howon could still be even while sneezing nonstop. 

Woohyun clipped a scented peg on his nose and strolled into Howon's room with a lunchbox. "Hi, Howon." 

Howon lifted his head from his box of tissues and glared at him with watery red eyes. ' _So fuckingly fuckably hot_ ,' Woohyun thought. "Um, I'm sorry about yesterday," he said sheepishly. "I wasn't in my right mind."

Howon sneezed, and Woohyun resisted the urge to swoon. ' _Note to self: Having a cold does not fall under the definition of cold either._ ' 

"Whatever. Why are you wearing a clothespeg?" 

“I’m trying to make my nose sharper without plastic surgery,” Woohyun said seriously.

“Whatever.” Howon shook his head. “You’re weird. Is that all?”

"No, I, uh, made porridge for you." 

"Porridge?" 

"Yeah." Woohyun placed the lunchbox in front of Howon, clearing the used tissues away. 

"You cook?"

"Yeah, I cook. You forgot? I cooked for you when we were in school before, when you were sick." 

"...yeah, I remember." Howon opened the lunchbox and scooped a bit of porridge, putting the spoon in his mouth. 

"Is it good?" Woohyun watched him anxiously, wondering what his reaction would be. He'd taken great pains to make sure the porridge was lukewarm. 

"It's...still...good." Howon's eyes were shadowed. "It's delicious." 

"It's not too hot or cold?" Woohyun asked. 

"No...it's just nice. You know I don't like my porridge too hot or cold." 

"Yeah...I do." Woohyun bit his lip, suddenly remembering their student days. 

"Thanks, Woohyun-ah." Howon looked up abruptly, smiling at him. "You've been really weird lately, but thanks for this. I appreciate it." 

Woohyun's mind went blank. 

He wasn't sure what he said or did, but he somehow managed to make it out of Howon's room in one piece. It didn't seem like he had done anything silly either since Howon was still calmly eating his porridge. 

He took out his notebook and scribbled his findings for their last experiment. 

_Result of Experiment 3: subject is both hot and cute at the same time after ingesting lukewarm porridge._

* * *

Shiwon paced up and down the small room. "What are we going to do?" she demanded. "None of your experiments helped." 

Woohyun shrugged. "I don't know." 

"Are you sure experiment 3 resulted in Boss being both hot and cute?" Yoonjae asked. "It doesn't seem to make sense." 

"I don't know," Woohyun said evasively. "Maybe either of you should conduct the experiment again?" 

"Ugh, this sucks." Shiwon stopped pacing and dropped into a chair. "I never signed up for this. It's all Tony oppa's fault." 

"Tony?" Woohyun echoed. 

"Tony Ahn from H.O.T., her one and only beloved," Yoonjae explained, rolling his eyes. 

"So...how does that relate to this?" 

"I was in charge of the accounts and treasury in the H.O.T. fanclub," Shiwon said grumpily. "So I majored in accounting because that's all I could do. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have ended up in this weirdass law firm!" She shook her head. "I should've just stuck to writing fanfiction and become a writer instead." 

Yoonjae snorted. "You'd probably have become a professional fangirl instead." 

"I would, if they paid me," Shiwon grumbled. "Anyway, what now?" 

"Either of you could conduct the experiment again?" Woohyun suggested.

"But why? Are you saying your results are flawed?" Yoonjae asked Woohyun sharply. 

"Um..."

"What, are you in love with him or something? Without being influenced by the pheromones, that is." Yoonjae and Shiwon looked intently at Woohyun, who was sweating. 

"Uh..."

"Ugh, it's not fair, then I'll have to do the experiment and suffer," Shiwon moaned. "Yoonjae can't do it."

"Why not?" Yoonjae asked. 

"Because you're biased." Shiwon pointed a finger at him. "You're madly in love with me and Kang Joonhee and Joonhee looks like Howon so you're biased." 

"I am WHAT?" Yoonjae jumped up, his face red. 

"Who's Joonhee?" Woohyun asked, glad that the heat was off of him. 

"Our best friend." 

"WOMAN, ARE YOU INSANE?" Yoonjae yelled at her. 

"NO, I'M NOT, I HEARD YOU MOANING OUR NAMES WHEN YOU WERE NAPPING IN YOUR OFFICE." She jumped up, replying just as fiercely to him. 

"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT WAS A MOAN?" 

"I OVERHEARD YOU AND JOONHEE."

"OH. MY. GOD." 

"AND YOU'RE HORRIBLE TO HIM, YOU KNOW.” Shiwon shook her fist at Yoonjae. “HOW COULD YOU USE HIM AND THEN BRUSH HIM OFF BY SAYING YOU'RE CONFUSED. YOU'RE A TERRIBLE PERSON!" 

"YOU'RE---" 

"What is this noise?" Howon opened the door and stared at them annoyedly. “I can hear you guys all the way from my room.” 

Shiwon and Yoonjae looked at him. "Uhm..."

"And..." Howon strode past them into the room, stopping in front of the white board. "Experiment on Lee Howon's curses. Curses?" 

Woohyun put his head in his hands.

* * *

"So you're saying that after we went to that Jusenkyo place, I have two curses on me now," Howon said slowly. "The...curse that takes effect when I come into contact with anything hot..."

"That makes you give off I-am-hot-as-fuck vibes that make everyone want to fuck you," Shiwon helpfully elaborated. 

Howon winced. "Yeah, that. And when I come into contact with anything cold..."

"You give off I-am-so-fucking-adorable vibes that still make everyone want to fuck you," Shiwon said brightly, glassy-eyed. 

"Right. That. And you're certain this isn't a figment of your imagination..." 

"We just experimented on Hakchan, and you know how straight he is, Boss," Yoonjae put in. "He'd have jumped you if we didn't stop him." 

Howon rubbed his eyes. "Why do all these strange things happen to me?" He looked at Woohyun. "So all those weird things you did...were to conduct experiments to see how I would react?"

Woohyun nodded guiltily. 

"I...see." Howon was expressionless.

Woohyun cringed. 

"So how do I get rid of these curses?" Howon asked. 

They looked at each other. "Uhm...we haven't thought about that yet. Because you refused to ever return to that place, and the Jusenkyo keeper was really mad with us then because you were charming his daughter," Shiwon said timidly. 

Howon sighed. "Why do I have to do everything myself? Woohyun, book me two plane tickets to Jusenkyo. Shiwon, prepare $10,000 worth of Chinese money for me."

"For?"

"To bribe the Jusenkyo keeper with, obviously. Take it out of my personal account."

"Yessir." Both of them got up.

"Yoonjae, you're going to handle all the files in my absence. There's no internet at Jusenkyo, so if you have any problems, ask my dad." Howon regarded him icily. "But you know him, he won't know a thing. And what's this I hear about you and my doctor cousin, Kang Joonhee?" 

"Uh...wait - he's your cousin?" Yoonjae looked horrified.

"You didn't think he looked like me because we're clones, did you?" Howon shot back.

Shiwon snickered as she pulled Woohyun out of Howon's office. "Serves you right~" she sang. 

"Wait." Woohyun stopped her. "Uh, Howon- Boss? Why two tickets?" 

Howon barely looked at him. "Because you're coming with me, obviously. I'm not going to find the place on my own." 

"Ah, ok..."

* * *

"These are your seats, sirs." The flight attendants guided them to their first class seats (paid for by Woohyun). 

"Thank you," Woohyun said to her, smiling. 

"Will either of you have anything to drink?"

"I'll have an iced lemon tea, please," Woohyun said to her. "What about you, Howon?"

"I don't want anything," he said. 

After the flight attendant left, Woohyun looked at Howon concernedly. "Have you eaten anything at all?" 

"..." 

"I know you're worried about the curses, but it's ok, I'll handle it." 

"..." 

Woohyun looked exasperated. "Yah."

"What." 

"Why are you mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you." 

"But you're barely saying anything and you look really grumpy and your eyes are flashing daggers," Woohyun pointed out. "See! You glared at me."

"This is my usual face,” Howon said, deadpan.

"No, it isn't. It wasn't in university."

"...it is now." Howon's voice had turned even icier. 

Woohyun cringed and dropped the subject.

* * *

After takeoff, Woohyun stretched, trying to find a conversation topic. "Gosh, we've known each other for years now." 

"Our families are friends; obviously we would know each other since we've been born." 

Well, at least he was replying to him. "But we were formally introduced when we were...seven? Before we entered school?"

"...when we were five."

"Five?"

Howon took a deep breath. "I met you for the first time when we were five. You were really annoying and kept poking me so I punched you and we started fighting." 

"We did?" Woohyun searched his memory. "Oh! I remember. You gave me a bloody nose and I bawled for ages." 

"That's how the name HoYa Law Corporation came about." 

"Really? Why?" 

"Because my mother screamed 'Lee Ho - Yah, stop fighting!' at us and my dad found it funny."

"Ah." Woohyun couldn't help giggling, and to his relief, he saw that Howon was smiling a little too. 

"Oh by the way, apparently our Harvard class is having a reunion soon," Woohyun added. "I got the mail. Did you?"

"Hm.” Howon said, sounding bored.

"Are you going?"

"I don't think so."

"Why not?" Woohyun asked. 

"I don't have particularly fond memories of the place."

"But I was there too!" Woohyun protested, injured. 

Howon rolled his eyes. "You were busy playing and enjoying yourself. I'm surprised you even remember that I was in your class." 

"...is that what you think of me?" Woohyun felt like he was on the cusp of understanding why Howon had such strange mood swings towards him. 

Howon shrugged, looking away. "I was a nerd who cared only for studying back then, I wouldn't have wanted to hang out with myself either." 

"...is that why you're mad at me?" Woohyun asked tentatively. "Because I didn't spend a lot of time with you?"

"No, of course not," Howon snorted. "You make it sound like we were dating. No, that's not it."

"Then what is it?" Woohyun pressed. 

Howon lowered his head. "I was jealous," he admitted. "You had everything. You were smart, rich, popular, talented...everything came to you so easily. I slaved for days writing my paper and you breezed through it in a few hours and scored the same A as me. You attended all the parties with the cool people and still scored a string of As. I didn't attend anything so that I could study and I still barely scraped through. And then when you graduated...you just threw it all away. And now you're my PA." He shook his head. "Still enjoying life while I do all the work." 

Woohyun sat stunned, trying to make sense of what Howon was saying. "I...I didn't know," he said faintly. "I thought you were just anti-social and didn't want to hang out..." 

"I had to study an extra three hours for every hour you spent studying," Howon said matter-of-factly. "And my father had made it clear that I had to take over his law firm when I returned. What time did I have to enjoy myself?"

"I'm...I'm sorry."

"What for?" Howon's lips quirked. "It's not your fault." 

"Still, if I had known - I'd have taken better care of you." 

"I took care of myself perfectly well," Howon argued. 

"Oh, so that's why you fainted in the dorm with a high fever?" Woohyun retorted. "So much for care. I had to feed you porridge because your hands were shaking so badly." 

"The porridge was nice, though..." Howon's tummy grumbled, and he flushed, embarrassed. 

"You need to eat something," Woohyun said stubbornly, calling for a flight attendant and asking for food. 

"But...you..."

"You should be more worried for yourself than me," Woohyun said solemnly. "I might not be able to control myself." 

Howon flushed and looked away. "Idiot." 

They made it through the meal in one piece. Woohyun clamped a scented packet of herbs to his nose while Howon ate as quickly as possible. They'd figured out that the pheromones took a few hours to dissipate, if Howon didn't eat any other triggering foods. 

"I'm sorry," Howon said quietly. "I've created so much trouble."

"It's not your fault. I wouldn't have believed you guys either, if you told me I was cursed." 

"Still, you would think I'd have noticed something, especially with the way you were behaving around me." Howon looked shy. "I try not to look too much at people, though...it's awkward." 

"Because you're too good looking for your own good," Woohyun said, and then covered his mouth.

"Pheromones?" Howon quirked an eyebrow. 

Woohyun nodded.

Howon looked pensive. "If I can't get these curses removed, though, I'll never know whether people really like me or if they're being forced to." 

' _I do like you though,_ ' Woohyun thought, but wisely refrained from saying so.

* * *

They made it to the Jusenkyo springs, and Howon successfully bribed the Jusenkyo keeper into allowing them to step on the property again. 

"Be careful not to step into any puddles of water," Howon warned Woohyun, who was clinging to him.

After they told the keeper about Howon's problem, he hummed and consulted a large tome. "You are in luck!" he exclaimed. "I have been brewing the right tonic for you! A mix of the two cursed springs' water, boiled over volcanic rock for 24 hours and then chilled under the moonlight for 30 days."

"You mean nights," Howon corrected. 

"Nights, days, whatever. If you want a drink that'll be another $5,000. Cash only." The keeper held out his hand. 

Howon took a gulp of Woohyun's ice cold bottled water and smiled sweetly at the keeper. "Can't you just give it to me free?" 

"Oh, sure!" The keeper cheerfully handed it over. "You're so cute, I can't resist you!" 

Howon gripped the cup tightly and looked at Woohyun. "Do you think it'll work? I haven't written my Will..."

"You won't have to, I'm sure it'll work," Woohyun assured him. 

"Don't let me fall into any other cursed springs," Howon said. 

"I won't. Go ahead and drink." 

Taking a deep breath, Howon downed the entire drink in one gulp. Soon after he swallowed, his eyes fluttered shut and his body went limp. Woohyun caught him just before he toppled off his chair. 

"You didn't poison him, did you?" Woohyun demanded, glaring daggers at the Jusenkyo keeper. 

"Of course not!" The keeper defended himself. "The curses need time to be purged."

"Then, where can he rest? Hurry, keeper, before I sue you!"

* * *

When Howon awoke, he found himself lying in on a mattress, Woohyun hovering anxiously over him. “Are you feeling better?” Woohyun asked. 

“I…think so.” Howon accepted the cold bottled water Woohyun offered him and drank some. “Am I still…?”

Woohyun flushed and looked away. “Um. You’re cute.” 

“Oh.” Howon looked disappointed. 

Woohyun bit his lip and took a deep breath. “Lee Howon, I don’t know if this is because of the pheromones or not, but…I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since we were five. I finally remember why I kept poking you – you were so cute and chubby and I wanted to play with you but you were ignoring me so I poked you repeatedly and then you lost it and slugged me in the face.”

“…” Howon stared stupidly at Woohyun.

“I didn’t know you felt that way in university, but I never intended to make you feel like that. I just wanted to be accepted but then I realized that it didn’t matter how many people adored me if you didn’t. So I persuaded my father to let me work for you here.”

Howon opened and shut his mouth.

“But now you have these curses and it really sucks because I’m pretty sure I like you but I know you’ll never believe me because you’ll think it’s because of the pheromones. And maybe it is but even if it is, I’m more than willing to feel this way.” Woohyun’s sincere eyes bore into Howon’s, until Howon couldn’t handle it and dropped his gaze to the floor. 

“I…don’t know,” Howon said, suddenly feeling exhausted. “Like you said, I don’t know if what you said is real or not, since the curses haven’t been broken.” The entire trip had been a failure. “Let’s just go home, and think about what to do later.”

* * *

Howon kept to himself during the flight home, barely speaking to anyone and only nibbling on food now and then. Woohyun didn’t talk to him either, unsure of what to say. 

They were met by Shiwon and Yoonjae at the airport. 

“Did it work?” Shiwon demanded. 

“It didn’t…he’s still affected,” Howon replied. 

“Woohyun is?” Shiwon snorted. “His reactions are flawed since he’s in love with you. Here, try drinking some hot coffee.” She offered the paper cup to Howon. 

Howon took it and sipped from the cup. “Um.” 

Shiwon blinked. “You’re handsome, but I don’t feel the urge to jump you. Drink some more.”

Howon downed the drink, and stared at Shiwon. “Do you feel anything?” 

“Nope.” Shiwon jumped up and down. “You’re uncursed!” 

Howon broke into a genuine smile, full of relief. “Then that means…” he turned to Woohyun, who looked stunned. “Doesn’t that mean that you aren’t affected anymore by the curse?” 

“I guess so?” Woohyun was still too shell-shocked to respond, so Howon carefully pressed his lips to Woohyun’s. 

“Ho-won?!” Woohyun snapped out of his stunned state and looked at Howon in disbelief. 

Howon smiled shyly. “I like you too,” he said softly. “You kept poking me and it hurt and I was upset because you threw hearts at my mother so why were you only poking me? And I thought I had gotten over it after university but apparently…” He flushed. “Apparently, I haven’t.”

“But…I still think you’re hot after you drank hot coffee,” Woohyun said stupidly. 

Yoonjae rolled his eyes. “That’s still thanks to pheromones,” he said patiently. “Real pheromones, though, that cause both of you to be attracted to each other.” 

“Oh.” Grinning, Woohyun clasped Howon around the waist and pulled him in close for a kiss.

* * *

_  
Dear Howon,_

_Thank you for bearing with my useless good-for-nothing son’s pathetic attempts at courting you and accepting the fool as he is. It has always been my desire to see my son make something of himself, and now that he is a lawyer alongside you in the newly renamed WooYa Law Corporation, I believe he will do well._

_Once again, thank you._

_Love,_  
Your new dad,  
Nam Soohyun 

_P.S. Please draft me a letter of demand to your father. He owes me ten rounds of golf because I successfully predicted that both of you would start dating within six months from whenever Woohyun joined your firm._


End file.
